


Carry On... Continued

by Youremyalways



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x20 Carry On, Brotherly Love, Dad!Sam, Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Soulmates, Supernatural series finale, broments, emotional!Dean, emotional!Sam, proud!dean, supernatural 15x20
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:29:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27648908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Youremyalways/pseuds/Youremyalways
Summary: A continuation of the last scene in the finale.Sam and Dean talk.It’s emotional.
Relationships: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Comments: 9
Kudos: 100





	Carry On... Continued

**Author's Note:**

> AHHHHH so still in all of the feels but I needed to get this out of my system badly. 
> 
> I just needed MORE. 
> 
> I wrote his fairly quickly so be gracious with grammar/spelling errors please :)
> 
> Enjoy this. If you do leave feedback, please try to keep it nice (we’re all fragile right now haha).
> 
> Xoxo

Sam never really imagined heaven. Maybe a part of him always thought he was going to hell for what he had done all those years ago;  _ the boy with the demon blood _ . Maybe he just avoided the subject because it was all too scary for him. Too final. Maybe he was terrified down to the marrow in his bones that he and Dean would be separated in the end. 

He should have known better. 

He should have known that it would always end like this. Him and Dean, right where they should be… together. 

As he stares at the river with his brother’s arm around his shoulders, he feels at peace. The water is soft, wending its way between the bright green banks. It’s like a Monet painting, mellow and almost too serene. The wood of the bridge is solid beneath him. It feels like it’s rising up to meet his feet, grounding him to this newfound reality he never could have imagined. He slowly turned to look at the person beside him, taking a deep, shuddering breath as he watched his brother stare out in front of him. There was a real, genuine smile on his face and it made Sam feel whole again. The last picture of Dean he had in his head was of his scared eyes and shaking lips. His face paling as he begged Sam to tell him it was okay to leave him. Seeing him now, content and at peace… it was everything he ever wanted. All of the pain and grief he went through the day his brother left him, and all of the loss that weighed on him every single day since then, it all took a backseat. 

He wasn’t scared anymore. He didn’t want to avoid this. It wasn’t too final.

It was all just… perfect.

Eventually Dean turned to face him, their eyes connecting. His brother’s smile faded just the tiniest bit -though it stayed vibrant in his eyes- as he asked gently, “What?”

Sam was all ready to talk, but right when he opened his mouth, he suddenly felt his throat choke up. He swallowed around the lump in his throat and looked down, trying to get a handle on the emotions coursing through him. He let out a shaky breath and smiled tightly when he felt Dean squeeze his shoulder tight, trying to be a conduit of strength and composure.

After another steadying breath, Sam looked up with tears in his eyes and shrugged. He pinched his lips tight to the side to keep the emotions behind the dam, and looked right into his brother’s wide, expectant eyes.

“I just missed you…” His voice cracked and he laughed a little at his own verbal failure, the tears starting to fall now. He breathed out again and nodded, finishing, “I missed you a lot. Every day.”

Dean’s smile fell completely and his face was suddenly all emotions. His eyebrows closed in and his shoulders sank. He slid a hand up to Sam’s face and gently held his jaw for a solid couple seconds before dropping his arms down and all but grabbing his brother, yanking him into his body and holding him tight. He wrapped his arms around Sam as tight as he could and balled his fists into the back of his shirt, as if trying to convince himself that his brother was material and not a figment of his imagination. 

Eventually Dean pulled away, keeping Sam at arms length with a hand on his shoulder. He didn’t say he missed Sam back. It didn’t need to be said. They both knew. 

“How long, Sammy?” He asked softly, staring into his brother’s soul through his eyes. He furrowed his brows and squeezed his shoulder again, “How did you get here?” 

He was scared of the answer. Bobby said that time worked differently here, but still… Sam was there mere hours after he arrived. He just… he hoped he didn’t do anything stupid or die too quickly after him. He didn’t want to find out that Sam died days, or even months, after him. He didn’t want him to die alone, to sink into the loss of his brother and give up. 

Sam just smirked a little and tilted his head. He breathed out slowly, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” 

Dean scoffed and raised a brow, “A nail went through my back, Sam. Nothing would surprise me at this point.”

“Yeah.” Sam whispered, biting down on his lip and shifting his gaze downwards for a moment, that memory all too vivid in his mind. He couldn’t joke about that. He’d never be able to joke about that. Even decades after, it was still so fresh in his mind. Still too raw.

Dean shifted his head down a little to catch a glimpse of Sam’s face and suddenly the guilt hit him. He swallowed and told him sincerely, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t joke about that.”

Sam looked up and smiled tightly, “It’s okay.”

Dean smiled softly, eyes still weighed down. He asked again, “How did you die, Sam?”

Sam felt his chest lighten a bit. Part of him was afraid Dean would judge him for leaving the hunting life, or resent him for obtaining a future he never got the chance to have. But the other part of him? It knew how desperately his older brother had wanted this for him. A life beyond hunting. 

He met Dean’s eyes and couldn’t help but smile as he let out in a short exhale, “I died of old age, Dean.”

Dean’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline and his shoulders sank down. Immediately, his eyes became glassy and his lips quivered. He shook his head slightly, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. After a second, he breathed out in a disbelieving and overwhelmingly emotional tone, “Are you serious?”

The emotions all over his face made Sam tear up again. He nodded and smiled wetly, assuring his brother in a faint whisper, “Yeah.”

Dean could barely breathe. He pulled Sam into him again and let the tears fall down his face, chest rising up and down rapidly. His throat felt heavy and tight, arms squeezing Sam as tight as humanly possible. He tucked his chin onto Sam’s shoulder and whispered in awe, “That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”

Sam nodded before dropping his head down to lean his forehead on Dean’s shoulder. He let out a small whimper and admitted through the tears, “I know. That’s why I did it.”

Dean closed his eyes and clenched his fist even tighter around Sam’s shirt.

“Everything in me wanted to curl up and die after…” He stopped, unable to voice it. He took a shuddering breath and continued, “But I knew… I knew you wouldn’t want that for me. I knew I had to keep going, even if I had to leave a part of me behind.”

Dean nodded. He understood because he did the same thing for Sam all those years ago on the other end of the devil going back to hell where he belonged. He knew how fucking hard it was to keep going, how hard it was to keep moving when it felt like half of your soul was missing. He breathed out, “I’m so proud of you.”

“I love you.” Sam said immediately, like he’d been waiting for it. His voice was thick with tears as he elaborated, “I should have said it back. All those years ago… I should have said it back. It’s haunted me my entire life. I’m so sorry, De-”

“Hey,” Dean cut him off, pulling back from their embrace so he could hold Sam’s head in his hands, forcing him to focus. He stared him deep in the eyes and told him with a tight, sad smile, “You never have to to say it. I know. I  _ knew _ .”

Sam shook his head, bottom lip quivering, “You were dying. I should have said it back. For decades, it’s weighed on me. You deserved to hear it, right then.”

“Sammy.” Dean cut him off, gently this time with a slightly amused look in his eyes, “To me, I died a couple hours ago. It hasn’t been that long.”

“You…” Sam’s eyebrows furrowed and he breathed out in disbelief, “What? How?”

Dean shrugged, “Bobby said time works differently here. Jack, or God, or whatever… he fixed stuff up here. It’s good, Sam. It’s really good.”

“Bobby’s here?” Sam asked, eyes wide with hope and disbelief.

Dean smiled wide, “Everyone’s here, Sam. Mom, dad, Jo, Ellen…” 

Sam was floored, unable to say anything but a single, “Wow.”

Dean nodded, “Yeah.”

“How are they?” Sam asked next, immediately curious, “Mom and dad.”

Dean shrugged, “I haven’t seen them yet.”

Sam narrowed his brows, “What? Why?”

Dean was always a momma’s boy and dad’s little soldier. He adored his parents and spent his whole life trying to make them proud. Sam would think that seeing them would be the first thing he did.

“Something drew me here.” Dean said with a soft smile, turning his head to look at the bridge.

Sam looked down, smiling knowingly and exhaling soft. He turned to look at Dean, though his brother’s gaze didn’t meet his own. Dean stayed glancing straight ahead, Sam staring at his profile.

“Thank you, Dean.” He said, a wave of gratitude suddenly crashing over him as he watched the sunlight dance across his brother’s freckles.

Dean narrowed his brows and turned to look at Sam.

“For what?”

Sam took a long, deep breath and shrugged, “For everything. I didn’t… I didn’t say that enough. After you… after that night, I realized how much I took advantage of having you beside me.”

“You never have to thank me.” Dean reached across and slung his arm over Sam’s shoulders. He looked down and pinched his lips, “I’m just sorry you had to be alone.”

Sam nodded and breathed out, “It was awful at first. For months, I just… I was robotic. I took hunts because I knew that’s what you’d want for me, but most of me was hoping some monster would get the best of me so I could join you. All there was was pain. Grief. Even… even Cas was gone. It was  _ just me _ .” He sniffled and a single tear cut down Dean’s cheek, “But, uh… Eileen ended up calling me one day. She helped.”

“I want to hear everything.” Dean told him as he reached up to hold the back of Sam’s hair, keeping a firm grip on the one person who made this place complete. Sam’s pain was tangible and it was making Dean’s fraternal instincts go into high alert. He kept a careful eye on him as he waited for him to speak.

After several moments, Sam told him softly, “It’s a long story.” 

Dean laughed a little, pulling Sam to him even tighter, “Good. I’m dying to know what happened.”

“It was good. Eileen and I got together, never got married. It just didn’t feel right. All the officialness. We knew it was real. But we, uh, we had a son. Great kid. Smart, brave.” Sam beamed with pride as he spoke, his eyes watering with loss and love, “We named him after you.” 

Dean’s eyes filled with tears and he looked completely awed, his jaw slack and lips parted. No words made it to his brain, nevermind his mouth. 

“I-” He stopped, getting caught up in the emotions. He breathed out and shook his head to clear the shock before speaking again, “That’s incredible, Sammy. I… I can’t wait to meet him.”

Sam nodded and reached up to squeeze Dean’s shoulder, “Don’t worry, he knows all about his uncle. He wears the name well. You’d… you’d be proud.” 

A tear slipped down Dean’s cheek and he tilted his head, pinching his lips to keep the emotions back. That didn’t stop his voice from cracking when he breathed out, “I already am, little brother. Of both of you.”

They stood there staring at each other with teary eyes for a moment before Dean looked back over the railing and acknowledged, “Sounds like you had a pretty good life, Sammy.”

It wasn’t jealous or resentful - not in the least. It was warm, content, and proud. It was Dean Winchester loving his baby brother like he always had and always will.

Sam sighed and tilted his head. He smiled, tight-lipped and sad, as he whispered, “It was almost perfect.”

Dean closed his eyes and exhaled knowingly. He didn’t need to ask what stopped Sam’s life from being perfect. It was all too obvious. Sam’s world would never be complete without Dean by his side, just like Dean’s would never be complete without Sam. 

Driver and shotgun. 

“Here, too.” He told Sam, because it was true. Even just the few hours he’d been up here didn’t feel right. There was a piece of him missing.

Sam nodded as he slid his gaze away from Dean so he could peer out at the distance. He let out a deep breath, “So this is it, huh? This is heaven?”

Dean settled himself back against the railing beside Sam and nodded, “Yeah, Sammy. This is heaven.”

Sam smiled, “It’s nice.”

Dean laughed a little and gave Sam a solid pat on the back, eyes watering.

“Hell yeah it is.”


End file.
